Angry Artist Alley: THEY WON’T GO AWAY


This is a small series made from a powerpoint presentation back in Fanime 2013, where I did a lecture called “Artist Alley: Survival Guide”, in attempt to weed out the weak who were unprepared for conventions. Each one of these is a short article of one of the topics dealt with from that panel. In the panel, I tried to make it a ‘midevil’ theme, and tried to sound as mean and blunt as possible, trying to make artist alley seem impossible for the weak. Unfortunately, at the end of this panel a number of people were taking notes on paper, and I think I gave them hope. Well shit. Anyhow, anyone in artist alley should still be aware of this stuff, even if it sounds or feels awful. All the drawings were the same things I used for the powerpoint.

Sometimes the people on the other side of the table are just so………er….and you got to be friendly to them.


You should be able to deal with the people you’re staring at. I was an antisocial nerd in highschool, but when I hit behind artist alley, I was totally different. You have to TALK to people (I know, *gasp* the horror), you need to interact with them, and sometimes you need to pretend like you care or know what the hell they’re talking about. Even though they may be a dick to you, you shouldn’t be a dick to everyone.

Fun fact: Speaking of dicks, there are a few guys that go to cons with a giant binder full of ‘dickbutts’ and asks for people to draw one and they pay you five bucks. I was probably seventeen or something when I met them in highschool at Fanime, and holy smokes they’re still at it, coz I saw them at Kinyoobi con and I drew them a Rocky Horror themed one. I was really horrified when I met them, but they’re pretty chill now. So some people you may think are really scary and gross and immature, but years later maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

There are a ton of annoying people, and sometimes you really really just can’t handle it. That makes sense, even I want to shove some people away from my table because they’re keeping customers from walking towards my table. Hell sometimes I wish I never met them. But you know what? Suck it up. You can’t be the happy angel forever, and there are some things even I can’t talk about in these blogs that have scarred me. But you can’t be a dick to them. But…what do you do?

Be smart. If all they’re doing is loitering and  talking to you because they want attention, and you need attention from other people, then do it. This is why making friends at conventions is great, because they get you out of sticky situations like this sometimes. Easy peasy–just say hi to your buddies walking by.

I know, you’re like ‘whuuuuut?’. You need to grab your friend’s attention for about five seconds, and hopefully that time will be enough for that person to lose interest, stop standing around, and go hang out somewhere else.  Didn’t work first time? Do it again with another person. I know tooons of people passing by at cons today (wasssuuup you guys reading this blog *waves*) .  Wait, but if you keep doing that and it’s not working….uh oh!

My emergency procedure: They are likely standing there because they think they’re having a long deep conversation with you. Just break their concentration. Tell them you need to go to the bathroom, tell the person next to your table to watch it. Then, you either go to the bathroom (recommended) or walk away for about five minutes and come back. That is usually plenty of time for someone to get too bored and walk away and go ‘yea I’ll  come back later’…they usually don’t :P13a

…and there you have it. This is emergency only, and this is like sacrificing five minutes behind the table, which could have been a number of sales. But hey, that person isn’t blocking your table anymore, so that’s good, yea?

Featured artist for today:


This dude’s table looked very badass, and with some original art laying around. Got to thumbs up for thing thing sitting on the center of his table :3

Name: D.J. Welch